The Contrast

The Contrast
Lift Big, Sing Big, Look Great Doing It.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Separation Anxiety

Every once in while I like to let you guys in on the mindset of Ol' Yeargain. This past week or so has been an adjustment to say the least. It was the first full week of getting back into daily grind of work and the like. And the first week where I wasn't Jud Fry.

There is a term or something referred as "post show blues." Or Post show depression or whatever. Basically it's when you're no longer in a show and the reality that the friendships, songs, or circumstances you had grown accustomed to in a short period of time are no longer the same. And they more than likely will never be the exact same. That's half of the beauty of it. It's fleeting.

Initially I didn't have a chance to sink in too deeply. The day we closed the show I had rehearsal for a 4th of July gig that very evening. Later that week I had more rehearsal as well as another gig and a performance of an American Standard at church on Sunday. In other words I had things to keep my mind occupied.

But now that the dust has settled, the separation anxiety has set in. Separation anxiety has a little bit more of a serious connotation to it. And I chose such a title because I think there is a lot more serious attachment to this particular project. I was a very good Jud Fry. I did very well and I was recognized for it.

But Jud Fry exhausted me. He took a lot out of me. I don't know if I was just being too mental about it, or if being that angry, sad, and living with that kind of persona inside of my head was truly that taxing. The falling, shaking with anger, yelling, and punching my hand against the chairs and table probably didn't help, but I'm used to that kind of self torture. Maybe Ol' Yeargain is getting OLD. I just know that there was a weight that came with being Jud Fry that isn't usually present. I don't know how long I could live in that skin. Just some thoughts.

But part of me still misses him. I still talk his lines, speak with his voice. I haven't shaved or cut my hair which is a usual tradition for me when it comes to being finished with a show. I also miss the people I had the privilege to surround myself with. Great people, immensely encouraging of my work and contribution to the project. Great performers, a dream cast and crew. Quick and self reliant. Fun was had.

But I must remember that such scenarios are nice, but not what makes the art. An actor/performers work is not in the praise, it's in the preparation. It's in the dedication of becoming another person and telling their story. I wasn't so great at Jud because "I'm so good." I was a good Jud because Jud had a great story to tell and I loved telling that story.

Fortunately, there are other dragons to slay, other fields to farm. The best that I can hope to do is to try to cut a wide swath. I made some really great friends with this project that I plan on keeping around for a long time. Quality people who's goals line up with mine. There are a LOT of adventures to be had and this is just the start of a lot of cool things that will happen. I know it.

Until Next Time,

Lift Big, Sing Big, and Look Great Doing It.

The Opera Bro

No comments:

Post a Comment